This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
