eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
