i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
