Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
