Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
