Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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