Moan for me like Helen Keller
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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