Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
