butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
