I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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