Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
