yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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