Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
