just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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