oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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