Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
