Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
