fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
