You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
