you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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