I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
