it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
