Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
People in love make me want to vomit
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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