He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
