Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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