I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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