So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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