it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
