we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
