Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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