I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
