I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
