I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
