is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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