is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
