Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
