eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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