Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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