i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
