The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
