I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
