So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have feelings that need drinking.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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