I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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