I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
