I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
