I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
