He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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