my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I need moral support for this bender
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
