I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
