Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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