how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
