Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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