If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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