Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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