belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
