Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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